I began to think about God when I was about twelve. I recall that my childhood was quite happy, joyous, and peaceful when my father had only one wife, my mother. Our family was Catholic, but we lived in Togo, and there a man could take multiple wives. When father took a second wife, our life changed. Mother was depressed. She was always ill, and life was very difficult.
Father wanted to save me from our difficult family atmosphere and he sent me to a Catholic boarding school. I attended a Catholic church whenever it was possible. But even so, I no longer felt joy or peace in my life. I had many questions in my mind. One of them was: Why did God allow me to suffer? After all, I was only a little boy! Why had father broken the peace in our family by taking another wife. This also troubled me? When I returned home, father took yet a third wife. At that stage mother decided to move out of our mutual home. It was a really difficult time. I remember that my mother tried to end her life at least three times. At that time I no longer went to the Catholic Church. I trusted no one, neither God nor man.
God led me to meet Nicolas
While in high school I met a certain man, Nicolas, who had moved to our home area. I spoke with him only about politics. During those times in our land there were political problems. The problems of my childhood and society affected me, so that I became bitter.
The political situation in our land unfolded very poorly and many people had to flee abroad. Even Nicolas moved to Sweden. He kept in touch with me because he wanted to know what was happening in Togo. I went no further than our neighboring country for six months, and continued my studies there. Nicolas returned to Togo after a year and a half.
One time I was on my way to the university and I stopped by Nicolas’ small electronics shop. That time Nicolas told me about matters of faith. In Sweden he had been invited to services, an event where believers had preached the forgiveness of sins to him. In my mind it was completely strange that people could preach the forgiveness of sins. None of it interested me.
I went to Nicolas’ shop again one day and found a newspaper there titled the Voice of Zion. We had very little English reading material in Togo, and for that reason an English language paper seemed interesting. Reading it was a way to improve my English. I asked Nicolas if I could borrow this paper. Many articles in the paper touched me. They related, for example, that God’s kingdom is here in people’s midst, they spoke of the forgiveness of sins and Jesus’ Second Coming. The articles said that believers have peace in their hearts.They have a bright future.
How can one forgive another’s sins?
I had a feeling that I just had to speak further with Nicolas about this matter. And so a few days later I went to return the paper to him. We began again to discuss faith matters. However, I was a bit afraid, since I knew from earlier experience and from the Bible that in the last times there would come many false prophets. The reason why I became interested in faith matters was that God’s children have peace in their hearts. I saw it in Nicolas, who had changed a lot. I clearly saw that he was a lot more positive and that in his everyday life and speech had occurred a change for the better. Peace was exactly what I sought in life, because of the difficult experiences in my childhood home.
I also conversed with Nicolas’s brother. He and I attended university at the same time, and there, too, we were able to discuss faith matters. Nicolas suggested that we could sometimes meet to read the Bible together. So we began to gather. I even asked a few of my friends to come along. In the beginning about 10 to 15 of us gathered. Nicolas chose some part in the Bible, which he read, and then we discussed it. The most important questions touched on how a person was able to forgive another’s sins and whether one could have sins forgiven by praying to God.
Nicolas read many portions from the Bible and especially the part where it tells how Paul received the gift of faith. Often he also spoke of Nicodemus. These parts of the Bible became more understandable and clearer to me than before. In the Catholic Church they believe that only the priest has permission to release one from sin, and we, too, had gone to confess our sins to the priest. The priest might exhort one to read a certain psalm or assign some act of penance. Following this, he said that now Jesus has accepted you again as his child, but go and sin no more.
Nicolas taught that every believing person can preach the forgiveness of sins to another person. This teaching was entirely different from what I had earlier received. We had many questions. Sometimes when Nicolas didn’t have an answer to our questions he said that he would send a message to his friends and they could then clarify the unclear parts for us.
We were able to believe our sins forgiven
In 2000 Nicolas told us that he had asked two speakers from America to come and hold services in Lomé. If we wanted to attend the services, we were welcome. On November 27, we had our first services in Lomé in Nicolas’ uncle’s house. The American speakers spoke of God’s kingdom and of how one could enter God’s kingdom. At the end of their sermons they asked: “Does anyone want to have their sins forgiven?” It was very moving and forever unforgettable, when nearly all raised their hands, and we were able to believe our sins forgiven.
I remember that when I was able to believe the gospel personally, tears came to my eyes. I was both peaceful and happy at the same time. I didn’t raise my hand because I wanted to please anyone. I had examined my conscience and felt that even though I had tried to do good and maintain good relations with people, I was in spite of that very sinful. Raising my hand was not difficult. I was about 25 years old when I received the grace of repentance.
When I repented I thought that my life would become very easy. My relationship to my mother was, nevertheless, very difficult. She had become a Jehovah’s Witness. Three brothers and one sister were also Jehovah’s Witnesses. I was the only one who did not want to belong to that group. They couldn’t understand me. Nor could my mother understand why I wanted to maintain a relationship with my half-brother, half-sister, and stepmother. She thought I should keep a clear border between myself and them. In that way life with my mother was again very difficult. I often prayed that my mother would also one day repent.
Of my family, only one brother has received the grace of repentance. He is a very dear brother and believing friend to me. When we received the grace of repentance, we spoke to our relatives about matters of faith. Some people welcomed us very happily and kindly and were interested to listen to what we had to say. Some promised to come to services Sunday morning, but we never saw them. Some received the grace of repentance and came to services, but for some reason their journey of faith ended and they returned to their former life. Some received the grace of repentance and are still believers, beloved sisters and brothers to us all.
Author: Komlavi Honga