In the Bible, God promises to bless the human beings He creates. One particular form of blessing that stands out is how God, by giving children, shares His blessing with the family. This is beautifully illustrated by the promise God made to Abraham:
“I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore.” (Genesis 22:17)
Do people control life?
In today’s society, family planning is often approached from the perspective of personal control. Through contraception, planning and timing of conception, and various practical solutions, people seek to decide when and under what circumstances to have children. This is also linked to the idea that having children is, above all, a personal choice—a decision that should be consciously planned and managed.
When people consider “the right time” to have a child, issues related to financial security and other factors involved in organizing one’s life come to the fore. Decisions are weighed carefully, and people strive to build a life that is as manageable and predictable as possible.
At the same time, decisions are easily influenced by societal expectations regarding what is considered sensible, responsible, or acceptable. This is evident, for example, in the fact that large families can raise questions or cause puzzlement in a culture where people generally want only a few children, but where a high standard of living, independent adulthood, and leisure time are valued. For example, in Western countries, parents of large families may be viewed as irresponsible because the earth is seen as already being at the limits of its carrying capacity.
Many people think that a child would be welcome, as long as the timing is right. However, the “right time” is easily pushed further into the future due to some new reason or objective, and it may never actually arrive—or it may come only when it is already too late biologically.
This mindset regarding family planning is often built on the assumption that life is something a person can control and schedule. People easily place themselves in a position where they strive to be the master of their own lives—even the master of life and death. Often, however, people come to realize—sometimes through difficult experiences—that their control is not as complete as they think. They may end up asking, “Who decides about life?”
Is life truly under human control, or are its beginning and course in the hands of someone greater? In the First Book of Samuel, it says: “The Lord brings death and makes alive” (1 Sam. 2:6).
Children are a gift from God
The opening pages of the Bible tell how, at the end of His work of creation, God created humankind in His own image. God said to the first human pair: “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth” (Gen. 1:28). In the same passage, it is recounted how God blessed them as He gave them this task. The birth of life is therefore not merely a natural event, but is accompanied by God’s blessing and will.
The Bible does not teach family planning, but rather advises us to regard children as gifts from God. The Bible also idealizes large families. Psalm 127 states:
“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” (Ps. 127:3-5)
This perspective places man in a different position than current thinking can easily lead us to. The Bible’s position is unequivocal: a child is not primarily the result of human decision or planning, but a gift from God. Human beings are not the source of life nor its givers, but its recipients. Jacob introduced his descendants to Esau: “They are the children God has graciously given your servant” (Gen. 33:5).
God did not merely create the world once and leave it to run on its own; He continues to work as the Creator. The work of creation did not end in the Garden of Eden; rather, every person born into this world is part of God’s ongoing work of creation.
Marriage and receiving the gift of life
When life is understood as a gift from God, it also shapes how we view marriage and the family. According to the Bible, marriage is not merely a human contract or an emotional bond, but a way of life established by God. Even the story of creation describes how God created human beings as male and female and united them:
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24).
Marriage is thus part of God’s order of creation.
The birth of life is also naturally connected to marriage. In the account of creation God links the mutual union of man and woman with the task of multiplying and filling the earth. Thus, marriage and the creation of life have belonged together from the very beginning. Jesus himself affirms this order by referring to creation and saying: “what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:9).
This challenges modern thinking, in which marriage is often seen primarily as a relationship between two adults and the birth of children as a separate, planned matter. In classical Christian thought, however, the things God has created have their own purpose.
The purposes of the union between a man and a woman in marriage include both love between the spouses and openness to new life. Therefore, contraception and family planning are not merely practical matters, they are part of the broader question of whether a person is willing to receive life as a gift from God.
Rejection of family planning was the widespread position of Christian churches until the 20th century. For example, the Church Father Clement of Alexandria (c. 150–c. 215) wrote:
“…God’s command to procreate must be obeyed. Having children and a large family are God’s ordained purpose for marriage. Naturalness and procreation are part of marriage and parents’ participation in God’s work of creation. Abortion is not appropriate, and contraception is contempt for nature and God.”
Openness to life does not mean that a person controls or decides when life begins, but rather that they submit to God’s will. Marriage, then, is not a closed world between two individuals, but a place where God’s creative work can continue. In marriage, spouses have the privilege of participating in God’s creative power. Thus, the birth and reception of children have, at their core, an eternal dimension.
Children are a gift, but they are not a self-evident one
The Bible does not merely teach in general terms that life is precious. According to the Bible, every person, including every child, is unique and precious in God’s eyes. Psalm 139 describes how God creates a person already in the womb: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” (Ps. 139:13).
Similarly, in the Book of Jeremiah, God says: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart” (Jer. 1:5). Job also acknowledges that God made him and gave him life (Job 10:8–12). These passages remind us that every person is known by God and intentionally created.
Alongside this great gift is the reality that children are not a self-evident matter. There are families and couples who hope and pray for a child but remain childless. The Bible tells of many people for whom this was a painful issue, such as Hannah, who prayed to God and grieved deeply over her childlessness. Similarly, Abraham and Sarah had to wait so long for their only child that, due to their age, they had already given up hope. Then they experienced the miracle of life when they were blessed with their son Isaac.
However, not all stories end with the wish being fulfilled. The Bible does not provide an unambiguous answer as to why not everyone has children, even though they pray for them. Instead, it highlights the fact that human life is not in one’s own hands.
The experience of childlessness and the longing associated with it are real. Rachel cries out to her husband Jacob: “Give me children, or I’ll die!” (Gen. 30:1). This cry expresses a deep human pain and longing that is familiar not only to the people of the Bible but also to people today. The Bible also reminds us of human limitations: “Since no one knows the future, who can tell someone else what is to come?” (Eccl. 8:7).
Therefore, both welcoming children and bearing the burden of childlessness are part of life before God. A person can hope and pray, but at the same time must acknowledge their own limitations.
It is best to leave family planning to God. Through their own actions, a person can only limit the number of their children; they are not able to bring new life into the world, for only God can do that. He knows everything; He knows you and your family’s situation. He plans the family that is just right for you and wants you to accept it. Ask Him for the strength to carry the part He gives you.
Author: Kingdom of Peace
Image: Syri family from Finland, credits: Lassi Mäkelä